Friday, August 22, 2008

12 Steps

I am starting a 12 step program.
In this program we are suppose to admit to ourselves, God and another human being (so the dog doesn't count) that I have a problem.
I have chosen to share it with all of you.
Now before you start to smile because you think I am joking, I am 100% serious and I just really need a TON of accountability and support.

My name is Hosmerita (some of you know my real name) and I am an over-eater.

August 23rd will be my day one to recovery.

I hide what I eat.

I feel guilty after eating it.

I know that I eat too much.

The other night, I ate until I almost became physically sick. I was at my sister's and my fingers started to swell up so bad that I had to cut off my wedding ring. I weigh 80 pounds more than I did 4 years ago.

This is my wake up call.

God was telling me that something had to change.

I have a sponsor who has lost 100 pounds in this program and she will be there for me every step of the way.

I e-mail her my meal for the next day the night before and I must stick to it. So I wont be having any more sweets or bad carbs, so please don't be offended if I turn down something you made. My life depends on this.

I weighed in tonight, and then I wont touch the scale until the first of every month.

Wish me luck, have me in your prayers.

Weigh in August 22nd 11:28pm : 181 lbs (10 pounds more than when I went into the hospital to have Richie)


Rachel said...

I am so sorry you are going through this, I wish you all the luck.

Glory Laine said...

You have my support.

Ona said...

Good can do it!!!

Mindy said...

Hugs! I have struggled with this. I joined WW about three weeks ago and writing down everything I eat has really helped me with my over eating. I would eat and not realize I just ate 5 brownies or half a box of crackers. Thankfully, Zack is very supportive of me and has even put up with less junk food in the house. I figured it's better for the whole household, and most importantly, Audrey and Will. I don't want them growing up thinking that processed foods are the only tasty foods. Audrey doesn't really like going to meetings with me, but she makes sure I remember to write down what I eat. Silly girl! Please know that I'm here for you! You are a very strong woman! Blessings!

momaof4 said...

You can do this Kim!!!
You are taking big steps in getting your body healthy and makeing yourself feel better in all ways.
Way to go!

Their Giant said...

Praying for you through this.

Sharon said...

So proud of you for doing this! Lean on God, not on self. He is a Rock! I will be praying for you, friend! : )

AngieG said...

Kim - so much of the battle is already won for you! Admitting the reality of the problem and taking responsibility! Then having a plan and setting yourself up with accountability!!!! Publishing your weight!!!! I am in awe and wish I was where you are! Love you much!!!!!

Stefanie said...

Thanks for your honesty. I don't usually look at your blog, but I did via the Interceding for you comment you left, leading me back to your blog and more info about your issue.

I too have BIG food issues. Last night after eating no carbs, but 1 fruit ( I try to abide my S. Beach)...I ate 12 oreos. 12! And like you, I enjoy it best in private - hiding...

This goes back to my childhood - battling for as long as I can remember. I would love to keep up with you and your program.

Sometimes I don't know how to lean on God for this - it's so hard!

Stefanie said...

Are there any books that you are reading that are helping too?